You Just Can’t Take Me Anywhere!

I went out for lunch with my new friend Sara yesterday and proved to her that I don’t know how to behave in public.

I met Sara a few months ago through a hobby we both enjoy and we hit it off. As it turns out, she only lives a mile away so we’ve been hanging out every once in a while, in addition to seeing each other at our mutual hobby.

She picked me up at my house and we went to Olive Garden for lunch. We were seated at a small table for two in the corner. Half of the seating along the row of tables was bench seating (against the wall) and the other side of the table had chairs. The other tables were all tables for four and there was only about 18 inches of space separating each table. A little close, I thought, as I took the booth seat.

We ordered our food and were talking and laughing over our salads when a woman wearing way too much perfume sat on the bench seat next to me. She was at the next table but with only a few inches separating us, her scent was overwhelming. I tried whispering to Sara that the woman’s perfume was making me gag, but before I could choke out a word or two the hostess brought a highchair and deposited it in the 18 inches of space separating our table from the next. An older woman (grandmother?) stood there holding a toddler. Oh, great! Two annoyances for the price of one.

I looked up at the hostess and, in a firm voice, said, “Can we not do this.” Everyone froze! The two women with the baby finally gasped and the child’s mother said loudly, “What, you don’t want to eat near a child?!” I kept my eyes on the hostess and said, “If you need to seat them here, I’ll move.” The highchair was blocking my way out, so I made no move to get up and leave, but my tone said it all. I was not happy.

The two women with the child kept cackling, but my issue was with the restaurant employee who decided that the only place in the entire restaurant to seat a woman wearing half a bottle of perfume and her small child was right in my lap. She was scanning the room for another place to seat people when the smelly woman snatched her child out of the highchair. Seeing that the decision had been made, the hostess proceeded to escort the women, child and highchair to another section.

I turned to Sara and said, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, but I would have been uncomfortable with them sitting so close.” She had looked surprised at the beginning of my exchange with the hostess, but admitted that she saw my point. We were seated in the corner and my only way out was the small space in which the high chair had been placed. Add to that the overpowering odor and our meal would have been ruined.

I joked with her that she needed to make a mental note to never eat out with me again! I am a bit of an acquired taste, and I readily admit that. I’m not intentionally abrasive but I don’t put up with shit any more than absolutely necessary. I’d rather be disliked for who I truly am than loved for an act that I put on for people.

The rest of our meal went smoothly and the table next to us was eventually occupied by two women who sat on the far side of their table for four. (And they didn’t stink or need a highchair.)

I guess I wasn’t so horrible after all, because Sara drove us to her favourite gelato place for dessert.

True friends love you, warts and all. Hopefully I’ve found a new true friend.

Running Amok in Vegas!

Hubby and I returned two days ago from Las Vegas and I am still exhausted.

Vegas always does a number on me—the smoke, the noise, the re-circulated and overly cold air-conditioned air, the bright neon and flashing lights, and the constant go, go, go atmosphere of the Strip. We walked our feet off every night and got up for more every morning. It was awesome!

The official reason for the trip was for hubby to attend Interop—a technology and IT expo which invades Las Vegas every spring. For me, it’s swag central and a free vacation—cool!

We ate at the Hofbräuhaus (I highly recommend the maibock when it’s in season) and a few restaurants at Excalibur and Mandalay Bay. We played the slots, roulette and blackjack at several casinos (including one on Freemont Street that was a little too seedy for my taste). The house always ends up with our money, so we set a reasonable loss limit and had fun until we cried ‘uncle’.

We saw Bodies—The Exhibition at the Tropicana. I didn’t really want to go, but I also didn’t want to deprive my husband of the experience, so off I went—and I am so glad I did! After the initial grossness factor wears off, the exhibition is very interesting and highly educational.

What a great trip!

As I Was Going to St. Ives…

I was out for an afternoon stroll today, which is kind of unusual for me. When I do manage to get in some exercise, I usually walk closer to sun set; but the weather was absolutely beautiful today, so I headed out early.

I left my home at approximately ten minutes before three. By 3 p.m. I had reached a nearby community area, which includes a basketball court, volleyball sand pit, benches and the north end of the walking path that runs down the center of my subdivision. I noticed a vehicle parked illegally on the street and I recalled seeing the vehicle there numerous times before. Today I learned the reason for it being there so frequently. Seated behind the vehicle on the curb was a school crossing guard, replete in her orange safety vest and wielding her mini stop sign.

Me: Excuse me. Are you a volunteer or an employee of the school district?
CG: I’m an employee.
Me: Are you aware that you’re parked illegally?
CG: Well, there’s no place to park and I have to be here for work.
Me: Oh, okay.

How could I argue with such sound logic? Apparently the crossing guard felt herself exempt from the laws of our community. But there simply must be parking available somewhere, I thought.

I walked west to the next cross-street a short distance away. There is a no parking sign on that street as well, so I kept looking. I turned south and walked toward the next east-west situated street, which I knew from previous walks would turn into a cul-de-sac if I headed east. I followed this short street until it ended. Sure enough, I was now overlooking the public area I had just left.

← ← ← ... **no parking** ... ← ← my walking route

↓
↓
↓
→ → → ((cul-de-sac))


I could clearly see the crossing guard and the no parking sign from this new vantage point. I then returned to the crossing guard.

“There is plenty of available legal parking at that cul-de-sac right there (pointed) less than 500 feet away. You look healthy enough to make that walk.”

She then gave me a very dirty look.

That’s all you got bitch?!

I took out my cell phone and proceeded to take a picture of her vehicle in front of the no parking sign.
My back was to her when she started yelling that I was harassing her, so I turned to her and calmly said, “I’m merely documenting illegal activity.” I smiled and then turned away to take a close-up shot of her car’s license plate.

She got out her cell phone and called someone, again yelling that she was being harassed. I’m not sure who she was speaking with, but I called the police non-emergency line and reported the afternoon’s activity thus far. While I was speaking to the officer, the crossing guard packed up her little vest and stormed off. Aaaaah, sweet victory! The officer promised to alert the beat patrol officer so that he can keep an eye on the situation in the future. I thanked him for his time, put my phone away and continued my walk.

Approximately 30 minutes later, I was heading for home when the crossing guard drove past me, stuck her head and left arm out of her vehicle and took a picture of me with her cell phone. When I returned home, I called the local elementary school and spoke with the principal. I expressed concern not only for the guard’s parking habits but for the tone she took with me. As a city employee, the crossing guard should show care and concern for the children in her charge and be able to deal with the general public in a polite and professional manner. The tone she used with me (and the fact that she may have waited for 30 minutes for me to walk through the area again) made me doubt her mental fitness to perform her job duties. Plus, I was feeling a bit bitchy about the whole situation, so I decided to see if I could get the guard in trouble with her boss.

The principal promised to pull her in for a little talk tomorrow. If the guard continues to park illegally, I will notify my community’s security supervisor and have the matter handled that way.

There’s nothing like an afternoon walk to get the blood pumping.

Hot Summer Night

Last night hubby and I went to the Def Leppard, Styx, Foreigner concert at Cricket Pavillion in Phoenix. A good time was had by all…and when I say all, I mean at least 17,000 people. The place was packed with people from age 5 to 75 and the crowd was as loud as the bands.

Watching Foreigner was like watching a cover band…there’s only one original member left in the group, founder Mick Jones. Jason Bonham was on drums, and the band played a snippet of a Led Zepplin song, which was fun but a little odd. The band played a bunch of their hits…Cold As Ice, Hot Blooded, Jukebox Hero (which was awesome!), Urgent, and Feels Like the First Time.

Styx was next in the lineup, and they blew us away with their sound and showmanship. Original members Tommy Shaw and James “JY” Young front the band with newer member Lawrence Gowan (who replaces Dennis DeYoung). They played a lot of their hits…Blue Collar Man, Miss America, Come Sail Away, Fooling Yourself, Renegade, Too Much Time on My Hands, and the Grand Illusion. Styx sounded great and Tommy Shaw can still hit those high notes!

I haven’t seen Def Leppard in twenty years, and they did not disappoint. Singer Joe Elliot was a little hoarse and had trouble with the high notes, but that didn’t stop anyone from screaming their guts out and singing along. The set list was as follows:

Rocket
Animal
Excitable
Foolin'
Mirror, Mirror (Look into My Eyes)
Another Hit and Run
Love Bites
Rock On
Two Steps Behind
Bringin' On the Heartbreak
Switch 625
Hysteria
Armageddon It
Photograph
Pour Some Sugar on Me

The encore was Rock of Ages

The video and light show was the perfect compliment to the hits. The lights were so bright that my cell phone camera had trouble capturing images. Here's the one picture that isn't just a blob of light:



That's Joe Elliot on the screen, the stage is to the left, and the concession area is to the far right. Beer was $8 and double shots of Crown Royal were $11. Yikes!

I am exhausted, sore, and hoarse today, but I haven’t had that much fun in a very long time. What a terrific birthday gift!