As I Was Going to St. Ives…

I was out for an afternoon stroll today, which is kind of unusual for me. When I do manage to get in some exercise, I usually walk closer to sun set; but the weather was absolutely beautiful today, so I headed out early.

I left my home at approximately ten minutes before three. By 3 p.m. I had reached a nearby community area, which includes a basketball court, volleyball sand pit, benches and the north end of the walking path that runs down the center of my subdivision. I noticed a vehicle parked illegally on the street and I recalled seeing the vehicle there numerous times before. Today I learned the reason for it being there so frequently. Seated behind the vehicle on the curb was a school crossing guard, replete in her orange safety vest and wielding her mini stop sign.

Me: Excuse me. Are you a volunteer or an employee of the school district?
CG: I’m an employee.
Me: Are you aware that you’re parked illegally?
CG: Well, there’s no place to park and I have to be here for work.
Me: Oh, okay.

How could I argue with such sound logic? Apparently the crossing guard felt herself exempt from the laws of our community. But there simply must be parking available somewhere, I thought.

I walked west to the next cross-street a short distance away. There is a no parking sign on that street as well, so I kept looking. I turned south and walked toward the next east-west situated street, which I knew from previous walks would turn into a cul-de-sac if I headed east. I followed this short street until it ended. Sure enough, I was now overlooking the public area I had just left.

← ← ← ... **no parking** ... ← ← my walking route

↓
↓
↓
→ → → ((cul-de-sac))


I could clearly see the crossing guard and the no parking sign from this new vantage point. I then returned to the crossing guard.

“There is plenty of available legal parking at that cul-de-sac right there (pointed) less than 500 feet away. You look healthy enough to make that walk.”

She then gave me a very dirty look.

That’s all you got bitch?!

I took out my cell phone and proceeded to take a picture of her vehicle in front of the no parking sign.
My back was to her when she started yelling that I was harassing her, so I turned to her and calmly said, “I’m merely documenting illegal activity.” I smiled and then turned away to take a close-up shot of her car’s license plate.

She got out her cell phone and called someone, again yelling that she was being harassed. I’m not sure who she was speaking with, but I called the police non-emergency line and reported the afternoon’s activity thus far. While I was speaking to the officer, the crossing guard packed up her little vest and stormed off. Aaaaah, sweet victory! The officer promised to alert the beat patrol officer so that he can keep an eye on the situation in the future. I thanked him for his time, put my phone away and continued my walk.

Approximately 30 minutes later, I was heading for home when the crossing guard drove past me, stuck her head and left arm out of her vehicle and took a picture of me with her cell phone. When I returned home, I called the local elementary school and spoke with the principal. I expressed concern not only for the guard’s parking habits but for the tone she took with me. As a city employee, the crossing guard should show care and concern for the children in her charge and be able to deal with the general public in a polite and professional manner. The tone she used with me (and the fact that she may have waited for 30 minutes for me to walk through the area again) made me doubt her mental fitness to perform her job duties. Plus, I was feeling a bit bitchy about the whole situation, so I decided to see if I could get the guard in trouble with her boss.

The principal promised to pull her in for a little talk tomorrow. If the guard continues to park illegally, I will notify my community’s security supervisor and have the matter handled that way.

There’s nothing like an afternoon walk to get the blood pumping.