Lying Liars and the Lies They Tell
I’m worried about my friend Grace. I’ve had this niggling thought in the back of my brain for some time now that she is a chronic liar. In the past, I’ve caught her in small lies that weren’t worth mentioning but lately the lies seem to be getting bigger. And she seems to be lying to cover up other lies.
Grace has been recovering from surgery and is finally able to walk again after months of rest, recuperation and physical therapy. She is now looking for a job, since she claims the job she had at the time of the accident is no longer available to her. The day of her accident, she went to turn in her two-week notice to leave her job. On the way home, she had her accident and begged her boss to disregard the fact that she just quit because she was suddenly in desperate need of health benefits. I’ve heard three versions of this story: she quit but her boss is ignoring that fact to keep her in benefits; she didn’t quit but cut her hours from full-time to part-time; she discussed the possibility of quitting but didn’t actually tender her resignation. I don’t know which version is true.
Supposedly her employer has been paying for her medical benefits for the past eight months with the intention of taking her back when she is healthy enough to return. Now she says they don’t have a position available for her but they are still willing to pay for her medical benefits. Hmmm.
She told me about a fantastic opportunity she has to work for a family friend in Mexico while living rent free in a condo by the beach. I encouraged her to take the job. She has no children or significant other to tie her down, she needs a job, the job in Mexico would give her experience in the field she has been studying in college, she likes Mexico, and she wants to learn Spanish. What is there to think about? Take the job! She agrees that it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but she hasn’t taken it. This makes me wonder if she dreamt the whole thing up.
She has told me about job interviews she has had recently and the fantastic positions she is being considered for and the high salary she commands, but I don’t believe a word of it. I’ve worked with her and I know how she is on the job. I know the kind of work experience she has and the types of jobs she is likely to qualify for. I’ve watched her steal things and then make rationalizations about how she’s not hurting anyone with the theft. I’m worried that she is going to use me as a reference and potential employers are going to call and ask me to attest to her character…which I can no longer do. The doubts are just too numerous to ignore any longer. Grace has gotten worse with the stress of the accident, being unemployed and having to overcome months of pain and physical disability.
I know I can’t change her behavior…she has to do that for herself. But do I continue to ignore the lies or do I have a frank discussion with her and risk losing her friendship? I don’t have a lot of friends, but I would rather have no friends than compromise my principles.
Looks like I just answered my own question.
Damn.
Grace has been recovering from surgery and is finally able to walk again after months of rest, recuperation and physical therapy. She is now looking for a job, since she claims the job she had at the time of the accident is no longer available to her. The day of her accident, she went to turn in her two-week notice to leave her job. On the way home, she had her accident and begged her boss to disregard the fact that she just quit because she was suddenly in desperate need of health benefits. I’ve heard three versions of this story: she quit but her boss is ignoring that fact to keep her in benefits; she didn’t quit but cut her hours from full-time to part-time; she discussed the possibility of quitting but didn’t actually tender her resignation. I don’t know which version is true.
Supposedly her employer has been paying for her medical benefits for the past eight months with the intention of taking her back when she is healthy enough to return. Now she says they don’t have a position available for her but they are still willing to pay for her medical benefits. Hmmm.
She told me about a fantastic opportunity she has to work for a family friend in Mexico while living rent free in a condo by the beach. I encouraged her to take the job. She has no children or significant other to tie her down, she needs a job, the job in Mexico would give her experience in the field she has been studying in college, she likes Mexico, and she wants to learn Spanish. What is there to think about? Take the job! She agrees that it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but she hasn’t taken it. This makes me wonder if she dreamt the whole thing up.
She has told me about job interviews she has had recently and the fantastic positions she is being considered for and the high salary she commands, but I don’t believe a word of it. I’ve worked with her and I know how she is on the job. I know the kind of work experience she has and the types of jobs she is likely to qualify for. I’ve watched her steal things and then make rationalizations about how she’s not hurting anyone with the theft. I’m worried that she is going to use me as a reference and potential employers are going to call and ask me to attest to her character…which I can no longer do. The doubts are just too numerous to ignore any longer. Grace has gotten worse with the stress of the accident, being unemployed and having to overcome months of pain and physical disability.
I know I can’t change her behavior…she has to do that for herself. But do I continue to ignore the lies or do I have a frank discussion with her and risk losing her friendship? I don’t have a lot of friends, but I would rather have no friends than compromise my principles.
Looks like I just answered my own question.
Damn.
posted by Patricia at
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
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