Interlopers

I’m going to start answering the door with a gun in my hands. Twice in the past week, my day has been interrupted by some random person ringing my door bell and saying “I’m not here to sell you anything”; which means they are totally here to sell me something.

I live in a gated community, and yet these maggots manage to get in and annoy the residents of my complex. Okay, mainly they annoy me but I’m sure they annoy others as well. There is a sign at the gate saying No Trespassing, No Soliciting. When I point this out to the interlopers at my door they just smile and shrug.

I think if I were to answer the door with, (Insert sound of racking the slide here) “Can I help you?” I wouldn’t have to say anything more.

Maybe next time.